I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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