the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Too much gin, very little bucket
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
