am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Randomize
