I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
