Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize