I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
