your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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