there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
