Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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