so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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