you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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