i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
