OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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