I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
