Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
