we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
