i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
