So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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