K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
