She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
