I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
