If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
