you guys were way drunker than both of me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
