i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
