what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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