I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
