why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
