The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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