I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
