Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
