Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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