omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i already hear my dad disowning me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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