You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
