Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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