That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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