I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
