i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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