It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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