I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
