How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
