Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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