saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
