If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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