You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hippo gnu deer
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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