"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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