Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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