Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
