woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
