Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
