Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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