I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
