Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
