Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
