dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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