The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
