i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
