You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
