Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
