Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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