i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
