I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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