I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
