I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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