If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She bit a glass in half.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize