I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize