Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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