yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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