please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
