When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
